Assalamualaikum
today, tonight, this moment, i really don't know how to start writing. when i think about how I've wrote so many things, i figure I'm the kind of girl who loves to write and i know it will take a fortune for me to admit something.
its 1.30 in the morning. if i want to tell about 6th December, should i say yesterday or today? i don't care how it goes for this time. I'm just gonna write and just write till I'm tired of seeing all the alphabets.
okay, I'll begin with today, -
today was 6th December 2012. it was my very last day of being at school as a student. its my last day of SPM. when I'm sitting here now- writing about it, i have to admit that i feel completely weird bringing this up. i don't want school to end. no matter how worst things are at school, i wouldn't want it to end. well, who does?its the last day and i don't know why, but i don't feel any much relieve or anything though. maybe I'm not ready yet. but, no body's ready. anyways, i sat on Ekonomi Asas today. i have to say that I'm very satisfied with my answers. I've never ever ever did my very best in this subject. i found it very complicated like account. but i did take it anyway. well, I'm just the kind who's really not afraid of taking a risk. I'm really not. no matter what i did, I'm not afraid of the risk. i just don't and don't know why.
after we all finish and step outside the hall, we all was like - "i cant believe its finally over" "ssspppmmmm is over" - they all are like that, but, i feel worst. i feel sad. i really did feel horrified and miserably sad. I'm sad, i have plans to say something to that special someone but it didn't happen because i was scared of leaving the school. i walked as fast as i can to ayah car, so that i wouldn't have to say goodbye and all the best bla bla bla. i hate saying goodbyes, and I'm not good at it. when i wanna say it, I'll cry. it happened . haha. i really did cry. how embarrassing. you're 17 and your aunt still call you baby and grandparents still think you're a little kid. how can i be growing up like that right? but, at least I'm always honest with them, and tell the truth. so that there will be no misunderstandings or whatsoever. and mummy, I'm sorry, but I'm very honest with you now days, i really wanna be ok with step dad, i tried and still trying. :) i hope you know.
oh, did i tell i called mum after the first paper? yeah, i really did, its hard to believe right? haha, its her birthday. her 40th birthday. ( Happy Birthday mummy, i loves you :) ) i called and we really talked. we talked about adik babyy and what she was doing , who's there with her. and ofcoz, she never miss this "come over. then you can play with adik baby" . the thing about my family, they all knew how much i love love love love babies. seriously, i love kid. like seriously like i want thousands of them on my own. hahaha. I'm being ridiculous. either ways, i did wish her. we talked for about 10-15 minute. then i have to hung up . i ran out of coins. i was using public phone fyi. yeah yeah, you'd be wondering why i didn't used my phone? well, I'm a good kid. HAHAHAHAHA good lah sangat kau. naahh, i just don't like showing people these and that. let it be just me and Allah :)
okay, after ayah pick me up and went to mosque, i didn't do anything. like seriously, nothing. hahahah, i did tweeted a few (by few i means more than 10 tweets) times. its all about EXAM'S OVER really. then, i know people will get annoyed with me, i left. honestly, i never left. i just leave it there on its own. hahaha. then, i turn on my laptop and see two movies that evening. first i watched Rise Of The Guardians then i watched Ride Like Hell. both of it are amazing. so amazing that i almost cry. especially Rise of The Guardians. you guys, really should see it. so touching. it teaches you to believe in yourself, trust your instinct, be you, just about everything la. trust me, watch it. Ride Like Hell was a bit harsh and yaaa know, full of bad words and stuff. but it will definitely teach you something. like how a single mother who's willing to work 3 jobs at a time just to make sure her son is save. how pleasant the story. even with its rudeness, it still contain something wonderful.
and now, here i am, writing about something i shouldn't be writing. I'm always out of topic. I'm suppose to get up early tomorrow. have so many plans with my adik and ayah. you know every thing's been going so fast and everyone are like TAMAK nak kerja and all, i always thought of this,. why ha? why? cant they slow down a bit? aren't they tired? they should relax a bit. I'm just saying man. seriously, after all this exams and all, they should calm down and breath , oohh man. i should get over it. i don't think it will cross their mind anyway. i think I'm done - for now :D thanks for reading. i know its bored as always. but anyways, thanks. till we meet again, assalamualaikum
-ArinaHawa
